This post was originally published as a newsletter on November 2, 2023.
When I set out to write this newsletter at the beginning of the week, I wanted to talk about my excitement in developing a simple, daily routine for myself. About how much having something to ground my day allows me the ease to move throughout said day while creating little pockets of time where I am free to do anything I want.
If you read my impromptu newsletter yesterday, though, you will know that I received news that left me feeling very much lost and untethered. I have somewhat stuck to my simply defined routine, but also have begun to hold it loosely between my fingertips.
I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that before this unexpected news was relayed to me I had begun reading I Didn’t Do the Thing Today by Madeleine Dore. More specifically, I had just gotten to the chapter in which Dore talks about the merits of having a routine, but also the detriments of sticking too closely to said routine. I was literally reading those pages the morning my own routine would find itself under threat. It’s funny how the universe puts certain things in our path at just the right time, isn’t it?
So I have used this week as one in which to practice my loose grip on my newly formed routine. A routine developed to ease my mounting anxiety over my mounting level of to-dos (which aren’t really that enormous, but when left to reign-freely in my brain take on a the appearance of an ever growing monster).
For example, today (which is Wednesday) my morning was to consist of walking, PT stretches, and proofreading my novel while the afternoon was reserved entirely for freelance pattern illustration work and taking photographs of things for a big sale I have planned. It is now 10:55 a.m., and I have walked (check), done my stretches (check), but have not touched my novel except to snag today’s weekly excerpt for this newsletter. I’ve written this newsletter (nearly) and had myself a big ole sneezing fit which has rendered my brain mush. And I have no plans on working this afternoon.
Instead, once I have completed this newsletter, I will be grabbing my cup of tea, turning off my computer and heading downstairs for the remainder of the day. I’ll put on some rice and soup for lunch and then curl myself into the coziest ball of warmth beneath a chunky blanket on the sofa. I’ll then proceed to watch a lighthearted movie or two while knitting yet another chunky blanket for the library.
I am grateful to have the privilege of being able to structure and re-arrange my days on a moments notice in order to give my body and my mind the time it needs to process big news, life-changing information, and unnamed emotions. I can harness the days in which I have more energy (like this past Monday) to plow through my list of to-do’s so that on days such as today, I feel no guilt for taking the time I know I need for myself. I honestly wish that more of us had the ability to go with our natural rhythms and flows throughout our weeks.
I still remember the time in my life (well, for most of my working life) when I was not able to go with the flow of what I needed. I could not rest even when my body was crying out for it. I could not slow down, lest everything come crashing around me. And I look back at who I was in that time and see a paler version of myself. One who was unable to truly connect with those around me in a meaningful way. One who would snap at the tiniest slight or inconvenience or disruption to my perfectly planned out day.
Don’t get me wrong, I still snap, and there are days in which I am less than perky or upbeat. But they are much fewer and farther between.
I am in a constant state of flux, learning to hold onto my life, my routines, my things loosely. This week is simply another small reminder that the work on relinquishing control is never done. I still have ample opportunities in which I will need to let go and readjust my sense of flow.
Novel News
There have been some delays with the draft printing of my novel which, at first, was quite frustrating, but I have since let it go. I had wanted a physical proof of the novel so that I might proofread it, but I have since shifted and begun proofing the digital version instead. The printed version will come when it comes.
However, in all the back and forth with the printed version, I realized I had yet to share the cover with you all and I thought it time to finally do so! Aside from my editor and a few close friends, you are the first (and only) to be seeing the cover in all it’s wonderful glory. I have also included the written words of the illustrator and her process in creating this beautiful work of art below.
Words by Jordan Kady:
The time of day is really important to this painting, and I am going to set myself up for success by giving everything a twilit glow. This is the calm before the morning rush, the baker’s private moment right before sunrise when the morning work is done and you sit and watch the sun come up. My dad was a baker when I was a kid. I remember his early mornings and my own as I grew up working in the shop and at other bakeries and cafes when I returned fresh out of college and didn’t know what I was doing with my life. It’s a distinct moment any baker knows, and it’s a sort of secret magic hour. I know I want to depict that.
I collected real sunrise photos and loads of studio Ghibli sunrises. Using the same colors as those beautifully painted anime vistas, I laid down ultramarine and alizarin crimson pink.
Both sides will get the same treatment, but this background will only be visible in the final painting in the glow it gives the underpainting, in the reflection of the windows, and in the reverse view for the back cover where it will literally be the sky.
Don’t forget to add A Daisy in Lily’s Valley to your reading list on Goodreads!
Weekly Excerpt
And what better way to honor Jordan and all her amazing work than to share the quote that most resonated with her when she read through one of the first draft’s of A Daisy in Lily’s Valley?
Tiny win of the week
I finally finished the garden pathway this past weekend! We had the smallest sliver left undone for weeks and weeks, but as Arlen worked on replacing some rotting window trim, I set out to lay the last of these bricks. And my gosh, does it look lovely.
I am so excited to work out in the garden more this winter as I prep it for next spring. I let the garden go untended for the past two years, overwhelmed by the enormity of the jobs constantly piling up. But I think that by taking it slow throughout the winter and early spring, I can bring it back to its beautiful, thriving self sans the invasive weeds trying to take over the land currently.
Until next time,
Brittani